Gijs van der Most is a Dutch photographer and businessman based in New York, known as the husband of comedian and Netflix host Michelle Buteau. Born in Amsterdam and trained at the Utrecht School for Arts in the Netherlands, he has worked as a photographer since 2008. He and Buteau have been married since July 2010 and have twin children, Hazel and Otis, born in January 2019.
Buteau has noted that her husband’s English is his third language. She says it as a joke. It is also, she has explained, the reason she over-communicates: because with him, there is no room for guesswork.
In sixteen years of that marriage, van der Most has not spoken to a journalist about any of it.
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At a Glance
| Full Name | Gijs van der Most |
| Nationality | Dutch |
| Birthplace | Amsterdam, Netherlands |
| Birthday | September 15 |
| Education | Utrecht School for Arts, HKU (2000–2005) |
| Profession | Photographer, Businessman |
| Spouse | Michelle Buteau (married July 31, 2010) |
| Children | Hazel and Otis van der Most (born January 22, 2019) |
| Business | Van der Most Modern, Bushwick, Brooklyn |
| Home | City Island, Bronx, New York |
From Amsterdam to Brooklyn
Van der Most grew up in Amsterdam and earned a degree in photographic design at the Hogeschool voor de Kunsten Utrecht, known as HKU, in 2005. He started working as a photographer in January 2008.
After years working in Amsterdam, he moved to the United States. He spent time in Los Angeles, producing documentary projects there before settling in Brooklyn around 2012. His LA-era work included several documentary series on American life: Used Car Salesmen, Yard Sales, Sign Jugglers, and I ♥ Runyon Canyon. Photography publication File covered his work during that period.
His editorial photography has appeared in:
- People
- Esquire
- Men’s Health
- Fast Company
- GQ
- LPV Magazine
- Mossless
- File Magazine
He co-created van der THIS!, a blog combining his photography with Buteau’s comedy writing, and worked as photo editor for the style and design publication Kaufmann Mercantile. In 2012, he made a brief appearance on The Eric Andre Show.
His photography statement, published on his website: “My images are driven from a genuine interest in people and their environment. To capture a special and unique moment from an ordinary situation lies the challenge for me.”
Van der Most Modern
In January 2012, van der Most and Buteau opened Van der Most Modern in Bushwick, Brooklyn. He sources mid-century modern furniture personally from flea markets, auctions, and estate sales in the Netherlands and ships the pieces to New York. The business runs a physical shop and an online store.
Per the store’s own description, it offers “an eclectic collection of furniture and décor pieces carefully curated by founder and owner Gijs van der Most.”
How He Met Michelle Buteau
Van der Most and Buteau met in New York City in 2008. She was touring the country at the time, performing at colleges across 49 states for, as she described it to People in 2026, “like $500 here and there and everywhere.” He had recently started his photography career.
They dated long-distance for roughly two years before marrying on July 31, 2010. Buteau wore a white mermaid gown with a ruched bodice and crystal brooch. He wore a black three-piece suit with a striped ascot tie.
Buteau has touched on their language difference in several interviews. His English is his third language; Dutch is his first. In an April 2026 People exclusive, she said:
“Communication is everything, and I over communicate, which is really good, especially being married to somebody whose English is their third language and they’re a man. So, there’s no guessing.”
IVF, Surrogacy, and a New York State Law
After their 2010 wedding, the couple spent several years trying to have children. Buteau was diagnosed with prolactinoma, a benign tumour on the pituitary gland that can raise prolactin levels and disrupt fertility. She went through four to five rounds of IVF and suffered four miscarriages. The couple also explored international adoption, which did not work out.
They considered selling their home and moving somewhere smaller upstate to fund surrogacy costs. Before that became necessary, Buteau’s mother helped them financially.
In her September 2019 Glamour essay, Buteau wrote:
“Four or five rounds of IVF and four miscarriages later, I was done. I was exhausted. I didn’t recognize my body.”
Van der Most was the one who said it was enough. As Buteau told People in 2020, he said to her:
“You know, I want you back. You are so unhappy and just physically wrecked.”
Because paid gestational surrogacy was illegal in New York at the time, the couple moved to Pennsylvania for the birth. The surrogate decided who would be in the delivery room. She chose Buteau. Van der Most waited outside. As Buteau later told The Bump: “I was so lucky that she chose me, but then I felt bad for my husband.”
Hazel and Otis van der Most were born in Pennsylvania on January 22, 2019.
In her Glamour essay, Buteau wrote of holding them for the first time:
“When I held my babies for the first time, it was wild. It was insane, over the top. There’s not one word you can use to describe it. It was a marathon of emotions.”
In early 2020, Buteau went to Albany for Surrogacy Lobby Day, publicly advocating for New York to legalise paid gestational surrogacy. New York’s Child-Parent Security Act went into effect in February 2021.
Parenting and Family Life
Since the twins arrived, the difference in how van der Most and Buteau raise children has come up repeatedly in her stand-up, essays, and interviews.
Van der Most follows a Dutch approach to parenting. In her December 2020 New York Times essay, Buteau described what that looks like in practice. Dutch parenting, she wrote, is built around teaching children to handle things on their own. “It’s not a big deal to eat dinner and leave your eight-month-old sleeping in her stroller outside of a restaurant,” she explained. When the twins get stuck on something, he tells them to figure it out, in Dutch.
Her own upbringing in New Jersey, with a Jamaican and French mother, left her with a different set of instincts. She has called her style being a “drone-on-top-of-a-snowplow mom.” In her 2020 Netflix special Welcome to Buteaupia, she described him asking whether she wanted to climb a mountain. Her answer: “Emotionally? Cause as a Black woman I do that every day.”
By 2025, Hazel and Otis are in separate classes at school. In April 2026, Buteau told People: “When I pick them up from school, they just hug and love on each other. It’s just so nice to see that they like each other. They love each other and they’ll be taking care of each other for the rest of their lives.”
Gijs van der Most Today
Van der Most keeps a private Instagram, a Twitter account he created in June 2013 with a few hundred followers, and a photography website that blocks automated access. He appeared with Buteau at the 2025 Made in NY Awards in New York in June 2025, and at the 55th NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles in March 2024.
In April 2026, Buteau told People what she considers the foundation of what they have built together: “He’s been part of this hustle for so long, so my wins are his wins.”
He hasn’t said otherwise.
